I recently acquired this lil’ old dresser from my dear pals Mike & Tiffany.  It was left behind by the previous dweller of their new home, and because they had no use for it, they kindly offered it to me.  It's basically the dresser that every little girl had in her bedroom in the 1980's, including me.  She was looking pretty gnarly on the outside, but she had nice lines, a good amount of storage, and was made of solid wood.  So I took her home. 

In truth, I first demanded that my friend Mike do a thorough inspection for bedbugs and demonic spirits, and then, once clear, brought her home. 

PS:  If you regularly shop for vintage furniture, do yourself a solid and DO NOT watch Amityville 6. 

You are welcome. 

Inspired by some dark distressed dressers I've seen on pinterest lately, such as this, this and this, I decided to paint her a navy/charcoal color.  I figured a dark masculine color would balance out her girlish curves. 

Still pretty, but in a manly way.  Like Rpatz. 

First I removed all the drawer pulls and gave her a good cleaning.  I scrubbed everything down with white vinegar and hot water including the insides of all the drawers.  By the way, if you ever acquire a used piece of furniture that has a musty or cigarette-ish smell, white vinegar works well for permanently removing those odors.  Luckily, this dresser wasn't stinky, just a bit dirty. 

Speaking of which, while cleaning the drawers, I found a few pieces of dry cat food and some orphaned sequins.  Clearly, the previous owner is a girl after my own heart.   

After she was nice and clean, I gave her a light sanding with a 220 grit sand block to help the new paint adhere.  Afterwards, I applied two coats of liquid deglosser, just like I did on my lamps, to the entire surface of the dresser to further roughen the surface and make it even more paint ready.  That stuff is like a little miracle in a bottle, I tell ya. 

Here she is all squeaky clean, lightly sanded, and deglossed. 

I then applied two coats of Olympic flat paint in Black Forest.  I used a mini roller on the larger surfaces and in the small grooves and trim I used a two inch angled brush.  By the way, this is my favorite brush ever.  I did all the trim in my living room with this brush, by hand, without having to tape.  It’s magical. You can only get it at Sherwin Williams, but it only costs around $3.99. 

I let the paint dry over night and the next morning I distressed the edges and corners with a 220 grit sand block. I basically just lightly sanded off the paint, going slowly, until I achieved the level of distress that I was looking for. 

After I completed the distressing, Mike D applied three thin coats of matte finish top coat (the kind intended for painted surfaces, not stained surfaces) and installed the new drawer handles, which required drilling new holes. 

Cuz he’s my boo. 

I bought these snazzy drawer handles at Anthropologie several months ago when they were drastically marked down from $24 to $3 each.  I had no use for them at the time, but figured I would eventually need them.  I’m kind of a hoarder like that.  Cha-ching!  I like to yell that when I get a good deal. 

And now, to no further ado, here she is looking all handsomeville in our boudoir. 

Those cords are bothering me, but they were too short to tuck down behind the back.  Dang you cords! 

It was difficult to balance the color in these photos since the dresser is so dark and in such strong contrast against the background.  The lighting was weird too.  This picture probably best depicts the color.

I think she turned out perfect-o, and is now the perfect home for some of my white ceramic accessories. 
I effing love me some accessories, yo.  And how ‘bout that mirror?  Got her at ye old Homegoods.

Celia digs it too.  Or maybe she just smells the old cat food. 

Oh, and you’re probably just DYING for the cost breakdown, so here it is:

Dresser:  Free. 
Paint:  $8.44 (one quart)
Matte top coat: $5.99
Drawer handles:  $18
2 pack of mini rollers:  $2.99
Paint brush: $3.99 (which I’ll totally use a bunch more times)
Total:  $39.41

Yay for upcycling! 

Thanks for looking, you fine lovely folks.